Breaking tradition; Santella’s bold shift to a Gothic wedding vision

Santella found her way to us when her original wedding date was postponed due to the pandemic, and the story on how Santella and Kurt finally found their wedding vibe is so inspiring! The path from planning a beautiful wedding that felt safe, to learning how to listen to what felt right can be scary but so rewarding; and equally beautiful (if not more so!)

We caught up with Santella as their 1 year wedding anniversary approaches to find out all about her journey!

The proposal, who asked who? Was it a complete surprise or were there signs?

The proposal was unconventional in some aspects and traditional in others (starting as we meant to go on, clearly) – we believed it was important to make sure we were both on the same page before making such a huge decision. We decided fairly quickly that we wanted to get married –  we even designed my engagement ring together, which was so magical and meaningful. However, the proposal itself was all left up to Kurt, so when he booked a wee trip away I had an inkling but didn’t know exactly when/how it would happen!  I did have people ask me if I would have rather it been a surprise – not at all! The excitement I felt beforehand was one of the best feelings in the world, t felt like being a kid at Christmas x 1000000! 10/10 highly recommend this approach.

How quickly did you begin planning the day?

Immediately! Haha. We booked our venue a few weeks after our engagement for September 2020 and within a few months I had every supplier booked and deposits paid. We were SO organised and quick with decision making, it all came together incredibly quickly. However as you might have guessed from the date, it wasn’t quite as smooth sailing as we hoped...

What was your vision or theme and did it change as your planning developed?

Originally the theme was more of a boho/traditional vibe, think lots of blush pinks and creams! Very pretty, very delicate. However after the pandemic hit, we started to realise that our original date wasn’t able to go ahead and we made the decision to postpone (and again the year after). What was once an 18 month long engagement ended up being 3 and a half years! Two MORE years of planning. However with all that extra time I had a horrifying realisation – that I had planned a beautiful wedding.....just not for us! It did not feel like me at all. But the silver lining was now I had extra time (and extra money saved) to try and pivot what we already had into a day that felt like it was a true representation of us and our personalities. Especially as our new date was the day before Halloween!

Did your family support your decision to go more alternative?

When I told my family I was planning to change my entire theme/vision to something more alternative, they all asked me what had taken me so long haha! I think there was always an expectation that I would be quite a non-traditional bride, and they were all so pleased when I finally had the confidence to fully express that. My Mum is so wonderfully creative and immediately started to brainstorm ideas on how to “make it a bit more gothic” haha. If anyone had a problem with it they weren’t brave enough to say it that’s for sure!

Do you have any advice for brides who want to express themselves and take a non-traditional approach to their day but are afraid of judgement?

During the planning I was personally dealing with a lot of insecurity around bridal culture/expectations and the need to fit in. Being plus size I already knew that there would be some hurdles – I struggled to find dress studios nearby that catered to plus size brides and at the start I bought a dress online with the attitude of “that’ll do I guess”. I had similar feelings about the theme of the wedding, I was so concerned about fitting into these ideas of what a wedding should look like, that I designed a wedding that was absolutely beautiful, but did not reflect who I was at all. Social media was actually what kick started a huge change for me, I started my own business on Instagram in 2020 and began to surround myself with other alternative businesses and influencers. I began to seek out accounts that looked like me, inspired me, and gave me the confidence to truly embrace who I was and how I looked. One of these businesses I found was Legend Bridal and I fell in love immediately with the Persephone dress; I kept it secretly saved for 2 months, terrified to tell Kurt that I wanted a new dress when I already had one in storage. I eventually mustered up the courage to show him and he immediately responded “finally! I’ve always wanted you to wear a black dress!”. Yay! I have never booked an appointment so fast in my life haha

The biggest thing I would say is to try and be kind to yourself. It can really be a case of extremes; the traditional bridal industry can be brutal, but its also sometimes not so easy to just Be Yourself. It can be hard and scary to step outside the societal norms, but try and remember that you deserve to feel like YOU, you wee legend.

Is there anything you would do differently?

Although I loved everything about the day, and we were so lucky that everything went perfectly, I do wish I had had more faith and confidence in myself from the very beginning. I spent a lot of time worrying, about myself, about others, about potential judgement and I truly did not need to, because in the end all that mattered was WE GOT MARRIED (also if you can afford it, get a videographer!! We didn’t and it HAUNTS ME)

Just for fun, did you have a first dance and what was your song? 

We did! We danced to Hold My Girl by George Ezra and asked everyone to join us after the first chorus which was a lovely experience! (This is a great tip if you’re a wee bit self conscious and want to move the focus away from you!)

Finally, who did your nails? ;)

Oh just a wee brand called Deadly Daggers Nail Studio, who specialise in witchy, gothic and alternative press on nails!

As with all of our couples, we are so incredibly lucky to have played such a big part in celebrating Santella and Kurt’s wedding day and even more thankful that we can continue supporting each other through our small businesses; you will find samples of Santella’s Deadly Daggers Nails in our studio and very often on our fingers!